love letter to a three-year-old

Hey, Baby K.

You're three! 

This is the part where I exclaim, "I can't believe you're three!" except... I totally can. You don't seem very two to me anymore. I mean, there are a lot of moments where I can still see the baby in you, but you're less and less of a toddler and more and more of a preschooler. Three is a big year. You've said repeatedly, "I'm gonna grow to a hundred and then I'll go to Cubbies with Jenna!" Well, you don't have to grow to a hundred. This is the year! You get to go to Cubbies! And to swim lessons! We may start a little bit of school stuff, too. Just for fun. 

You fascinate me, little girl. You're such a mix of extremes. I mean, there's the expected mix of baby and big girl going on... you chatter on about all kinds of things like a big girl would, using some huge words, but you still have a lot of your baby sounds. (My current favorites are "polliwog" and "authority." I'm sorry you're a little annoyed that I keep asking who has authority over polliwogs. It's just so darn cute to hear you say, "Powwywogs have afoditty ovo demthelf!")

You're really a funny mix of outgoing adventurer and total introvert. Sometimes you want to be the center of attention and you talk loud and proud at anyone nearby and climb things not meant to be climbed by people under four feet tall. But then I see you tuck yourself away in the background, just watching. I love learning when you do which. I love watching you kind of figure out your world and where you want to be in it. 


You can be stubborn to the point of defiant. Except when you aren't. Sometimes you're so quick with a "yes, Mom!" and you scamper off to do whatever it was I asked. And then there are the other times. For the record, you come by it honestly. It absolutely comes from your daddy... I still have all of mine. Your stubbornness will become an asset before long, but I'm sorry this part is difficult. I promise to do what I can to help that happen, but that means some challenges up front for us both. It's OK. I love you plenty for that. I'm praying that you become stubborn in doing what's right. I'm imagining that in a few years, you'll be a really good influence on kids around you, because you'll be holding on to what you know is right, regardless of what everyone else is doing. There will be some kids nearby who know what they should be doing, but are afraid to stand alone. I doubt very much that you'll be afraid to stand alone. And in doing what's right, you'll help those other ones do what's right, too. I like your stubborn. I know it doesn't always feel that way, but I really do.

I'm praying for you this year, baby girl. Praying that Jesus continues to draw your heart. That you learn that being stubborn isn't worth it when you're doing what's wrong. That your friendship with your sister grows and your care for your baby brother continues and becomes gentle. That your relationship with your daddy continues to bloom. And I pray for me. Because I'm the mama, I'm with you the most when you're pushing lines need someone to help you learn how to use your stubborn for good. I pray that I don't get tired of teaching and start letting you slide... that wouldn't serve you at all, as much as you think that's what you want. And I pray that when I'm teaching you, I would do it with a heart that is for you and that you would see that. 

I love you, kiddo. 

I love your spunk and your adventure and your silly and your stubborn. You're likely to hear "She's growing too fast!" tonight, and they say that because they love your little self and it's hard to see you leaving your little behind. I get that. I held you a long time last night, knowing I wouldn't get to hold a two-year-old you ever again. But hear me loud: You're growing just right. You're lovely. I wouldn't trade you for anything. Not even a version of you that stayed small forever.

I love who you're becoming.